Stay
by Elizabeth L. Sullivan
Summary: Clarke and Bellamy return with everyone after Mount Weather. After Monty walks away, they stand outside the gates of Arkadia alone, and Bellamy asks Clarke to stay. What if she did? Bellarke one-shot


He watched as Monty hugged Clarke and walked away with his head lowered. Bellamy's eyes shifted to Clark before walking over to her.

"I think we deserve a drink," he said. Bellamy stood beside her. They watched their friends returning to Arkadia from Mount Weather.

"Have one for me."

"Hey." Bellamy turned to face her. "We can get through this."

"I can't." Clarke looked down. He noticed she struggled to hold back tears. "I can't go in there and face them, not after what I did to .

"What _we_ did, Clarke. You weren't the only one who pulled that lever."

"You didn't have to. That was your choice. I _had_ to."

"I had to so that you wouldn't have to do this alone, Clarke," Bellamy looked down at the ground, and looked back up to meet her eyes. "Please, stay."

"Fine." Clarke gave in after thinking it over.

* * *

They walked into the camp, and all eyes fell on Clarke. The silence that quickly fell among the camp was deafening. She reached for Bellamy's hand and felt him squeeze her hand tightly.

"You!"

Clarke and Bellamy turned to look to look at Jasper. He pushed his way through the crowd until he reached her.

"You're a murder!" Jasper shouted. He pointed his index finger in Clarke's face.

"I didn't have a choice," Clarke cried. Bellamy placed a hand on her lower back.

"There is always a choice!"

"Jasper, please, you have to understand!"

"No, you have to understand this. I hate you, Clarke!"

She let go of Bellamy's hand and ran inside. He stepped closer to Jasper and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"If you're going to hate anyone, hate me. I can handle it. She can't.

"You're not the one who killed Maya! She did!"

"Did you ever think for a second that she wasn't the only one who pulled that lever? I had my hand on it too." Bellamy said. He ran into the Ark to find Clarke.

Bellamy knocked on the cold, metal door. He could hear Clarke's sobs from the other side of the door. He slowly turned the knob and poked his head around the door. Clarke sat against the wall with her knees pulled to her chest. She wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her face in her arms. Bellamy walked over to her and knelt beside her. He placed a hand on her shoulder as she continued to sob.

"He's just hurting. I'm sure he didn't mean all that he said," Bellamy said. He squeezed her shoulder. Clarke lifted her head to look at him.

"We both know what he said was true. I'm a murderer, Bell. I'm no different than my mother, or Jaha, or-or even Cage, himself."

"Listen to me, Clarke, you are _not_ a murderer, and you are _nothing_ like that man. Cage was a terrible, terrible person. There's a special place in hell for someone like him."

"I murdered an entire society, Bellamy! I killed Finn!"

"Clarke, listen to me. You saved all of our people in that mountain from torture. You kept Finn from dying a slow, painful death," Bellamy said. The two sat in silence. He wiped a tear from her eye and tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

"Look, who we are and who we need to be to survive are two different things. You are not a murder. You're Clarke Griffin. You have been fighting to keep us alive since the moment we landed on this earth. You're brave and beautiful and strong and even stubborn," Bellamy watched a small smile creep across her face, "but you, Princess, are not a murderer."

Clarke leaned forward and crashed her lips onto his. Bellamy was taken back by her actions. He kissed her back for a moment. He pulled away.

"Clarke, we can't, at least not like this."

"What do you mean 'not like this'? Do you not want me?" She felt even more hurt.

"Believe me, I do want you, more than you can imagine, but you're upset, Clarke. You're not thinking clearly. It wouldn't be fair to you, to us."

"What if I am thinking clearly, Bell? What if I know what I want? I understand where you're coming from, but I don't need a knight in shining armor, Bellamy," Clarke leaned closer to his face. Their lips could almost touch. Clarke lowered her voice, "I need you."

Without hesitation, Bellamy crashed his lips onto hers. Her hands ran through his dark, curly hair. His hand ran up her thigh.

* * *

Clarke felt his grip tighten around her waist. She had been awake all night and had been unable to sleep. Her mind constantly had been going back and forth. _Stay. Leave. Stay. Leave_.

Clarke turned on her opposite side to face Bellamy. He slept peacefully. Dark curls rested against his forehead. His lips softly pressed together. She watched his tan, bare chest slowly rise and fall.

She truly wanted to stay for Bellamy. She did have feelings for him, but they weren't enough to make her stay.

Clarke turned on her back and looked at the ceiling. Her thoughts continued to flood her mind.

She wouldn't have the strength to stay. Not after what she did. Everyone knew about what she had done.

Clarke brought her wrist to her face. She read the numbers on her father's watch. First light would come in forty five minutes, and, if she had any intention of slipping out unnoticed, she needed to leave soon.

Clarke slowly and carefully crept out of bed. She slid her shirt over her head and slid her underwear on. She sat down on the cold, metal chair and began to write.

When she finished, she began to gather her belongings into a small bag only packing the necessities. She slipped Bellamy's gun into her bag. She silently prayed that she wouldn't have to use it.

She sat on the edge of the bed and tied her boots. Clarke took the neatly folded letter and set it on the pillow beside Bellamy. She stood up and slid her jacket on her back and her bag over her shoulder.

"You were never going to stay were you? And last night meant nothing to you either, then." Bellamy said. He sat up in the bed. They grey sheets rested in his lap.

"Bell, I can't." Clarke looked at the ceiling to compose herself. She walked over and sat on the edge of the bed again. "It meant more to me than you'll ever know. I care about you. I really, really do. I just- I can't. I can't stay."

"Yes, you can, Clarke. Look, if you need forgiveness, I'll give that to you. You're forgiven. Just, please, stay," Bellamy begged. He reached out and placed his hand on top of hers. She pulled her hand back.

"Take care of them for me."

"Clarke-" Bellamy felt tears weld in his eyes.

"No. Seeing their faces every day is just going to remind me of what I did to get them here."

"_We_, Clarke. I told you, you are not alone in this."

"I bear it so they don't have to," Clarke looked down at the mattress to avoid his eyes. Bellamy wiped his eyes and looked at the wall.

"Where you gonna go?" Bellamy asked. His voice shook. He looked back at her.

"I don't know."

Bellamy leaned in and kissed Clarke. It was different from last night. The pair fit so much emotion into one kiss. Bellamy placed his hands on either side of her head, and kissed her forehead. He felt Clarke's wet tears against his hands.

"May we meet again," Clarke whispered. She struggled to speak.

"We always do," Bellamy looked at Clarke and did his best to wipe the tears from her eyes.

Clarke stood up and grabbed her things. She stopped before opening the door when she heard his voice.

"Be careful out there. I love you, Princess."

Clarke couldn't look at him. Instead, she turned the doorknob.

"I love you too."

Bellamy fell back. His head hit the soft pillow. She was gone. Clarke was gone. He wondered when he would ever see her again, if he would ever see her again. The pillow smelled faintly like her. He missed her already. Bellamy noticed the folded paper on her pillow.

_Bellamy,_

_I'm sorry for not being strong enough. I'm sorry for not staying, and most importantly, I'm sorry for leaving you the way I did. _  
_Leaving you like this hurts, but not as much as I know it'll hurt me to stay. I'm not strong enough to stay. I'm not strong enough to face everyone. I can't stand to see the disappointment and the hatred in Jasper's eyes because I'm responsible for Maya's death. I can't look at Raven without being reminded of the fact that I killed Finn. I just can't. Staying here will just cause too much pain. I'm sorry for everything, but I'm not sorry for last night. I do care about you, Bell, and I think I even love you. I've been fighting these feelings for a long time now, and last night, I caved into them. I'm sorry I left before I could tell you that. So, I'll be at the drop ship where it all started, and I'll be there until I figure out where to go from there. I don't expect you to pack up everything and leave Arkadia and your sister behind, but if you do decide to, meet me at dusk tonight. _  
_I love you_

_Clarke_

Bellamy set the letter down. For a moment, he thought about meeting her, but he couldn't leave Octavia behind. He needed to be here for her. He needed to protect her. _His sister. His responsibility._

Bellamy's eyes shot towards the door as it opened. He pulled

"Clarke?"

"What are you doing here?" Bellamy asked looking down at the letter.

"I could ask you the same question, Big Brother," Octavia said as she shut the door behind her. She walked in and through his clothes at him. "But from the looks of it, I can figure it out. You finally told her?" Octavia's smile grew. "Where is she?" She turned around to face the wall while her brother dressed.

"She's not here."

"Obviously, she isn't here, Bellamy," Octavia sassed. "Where did she go?"

"She left," Bellamy said as he handed Octavia the letter. Octavia read over the letter.

"Are you gonna go?"

"I don't know, O."

* * *

She was stupid to think he would come. It had been dark for two hours, and yet there was no sign of him.

She didn't expect him to come after her. He had his sister. He had people who didn't hate him. He was going to have to lead them if she wasn't there. Deep down, she was glad that he didn't come. It would have been irresponsible. They were leaders. Their people needed them. She needed him to take care of them while she was gone. Frankly, the people had Kane and her mother, but they didn't listen to them as well as they listened to her and Bellamy. Not that they would listen to her anymore.

Clarke looked up at the night sky. She mentally pointed out where each constellation and where the Ark once was when the first landed. She pulled out a piece paper and a piece of charcoal and began to sketch. She could smell the rabbit roasting over the fire.

An hour later, Clarke's drawing slowly came to life. It was of her father, Jake. He sat on a rock by the stream. Trees filled the background. He would have loved Earth so much. He would have seen the good in some of the grounders. She folded her paper and tucked it back into her bag.

Clarke tore a chunk of meat off the rabbit's roasted carcass and washed it down with the water in her canteen. Clarke stood up and gathered her things in her bag. She walked towards the drop ship.

She would sleep here tonight and probably up on the second level. She would have shelter from whatever animals or grounders which could come across the drop ship.

She was about to step up into the drop ship when she froze.

"Sorry I'm late, Princess."

A smile crept across her face before she turned around. She dropped her belongings on the ground and walked over to him. She wrapped her arm around his neck.

"You came!" Clarke exclaimed in partial disbelief.

He placed his hand on her lower back and pulled her closer into him. His other hand flew to her face and tucked a golden lock behind her ear. She crashed her lips onto his.

In that moment she forgot everything. She forgot why she needed to leave. She forgot the pain that consumed her. They had each other now, and that was all that they needed.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Leave a review, and let me know what you guys think!**

**Also, I might post another Bellarke one shot soon! **

**Update for those of y'all who are reading THE UNEXPECTED:**

**I've been having some major writer's block. I'll hopefully upload a new chapter soon. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know (for the story or more one shots)**


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